| Flowers in Gods Garden
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13/12/01 - Sarah's mother strong,
brave & calm
Sue Carroll
The Mirror
I FIRST met Sara Payne two weeks after her daughter
Sarah went missing. It wasn't easy coming face-to-face
with this grieving mother, so familiar from a series
of emotional, though never hysterical, news reports.
I was afraid to witness that hollow-eyed, raw, pain
at close quarters.
What do you say to a woman whose heart is breaking?
No one quite fathomed Sara - someone who even in her
darkest moment, was prepared to face the glare of cameras
to say with defiant conviction that her little girl
would be found alive.
Reporters and police officers were not the sort of people
Sara had dealt with as a housewife and sometime barmaid
but she handled us with skill and tact. In truth she
clung to us, knowing there was a possibility - however
slight - that her pleas could reach, through us, her
child.
But in our hearts, we knew the chances of her daughter
coming home were remote. We met at a Sussex hotel, not
far from where Sarah went missing. It was a warm day
but Sara was shivering. She was skin and bone, her skin
grey and her hair lank.
But when she talked of her girl, her eyes sparkled,
as they still do when she mentions her. Her hope was
so resolute, it was humbling. Sara Payne is one of the
bravest women I have ever met. She didn't rant as others
might have.
She didn't cry or offer a string of 'if onlys'. Instead
she painted a gloriously vivid picture of her beautiful
daughter, telling me how every day she kissed her favourite
picture and said: "Good morning darling."
I felt, when I left, that I knew the little girl, so
graphic was her description.
"Every parent," she said, "will tell
you they take their kids for granted. Now we realise
what a gift they are." So infectious was Sara's
implacable faith that I left strangely uplifted. Reality
only struck later when the words of a police officer
came back to me: "When the bad news comes, it will
be like falling off a 30-storey building."
It was then I cried for the Paynes, especially Sara.
A week later, eight-year-old Sarah was found dead. But
that prophecy was wrong. Sara has not allowed her world
to collapse. Three children and a husband needed her
to be strong.
And despite a stress we can only begin to imagine, she's
been the glue that kept her pained and shattered family
together. Today their need for one another has never
been greater, as this final horrible chapter on their
lives is closed.
As ever, Sara emerged dignified, gracious and calm.
That's how she's always been when we've met. We drink,
we talk, but there are no tears. I know I'm with a woman
whose heart will always be broken, but it doesn't show.
Once, as we sat, a curious child spotted a badge of
Sarah that she wore. "Who is that?" she asked.
"That's my baby," Sara smiled. "Isn't
she lovely?" She was. She always will be. |
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